November is a reminder that Thanksgiving, and the holiday season, is right around the corner. As bereaved parents, we sometimes place enormous pressure on ourselves to make those around us more comfortable with our sadness, sometimes even putting our own needs on hold. Instead, it might help to focus on how we can participate in the holidays (and every day) to the best of our ability and in the most honest manner we can muster. That process can include making new traditions, limiting our involvement to only the most important celebrations, or taking a break as often as needed. If you feel overwhelmed, another option is to ask friends and relatives if you can accept or decline social invitations closer to the actual date. You don’t have to make a decision immediately. The ups and downs of grieving can make it difficult to commit too far in advance. Grieving requires a huge emotional, spiritual and physical effort. And for those of us who are able to fully participate in Thanksgiving this year, we do so with gratitude for our continued healing.

Thanksgiving

by Marie Teague

Lord, I thank you for memories.

Memories of my children, living and gone.

Of hopes, dreams, love…not lost, just postponed.

Lord, I thank you for health.

Not just physical health, for we know that people who are perfectly healthy

(unborn babies) can just as easily die as the old and infirm.

No, I thank you for the health of my soul…a soul which has been torn and

left to die, only to find new life and vigor in the shadow of suffering.

A soul which dares to love beyond the grave.

Lord, I thank you for my babies who have gone to be with you.

Keep them safe and warm till we all meet again.

I would not ever want to suffer their dying again.

But would not trade them for life itself.